Love Without Expectations!
You know what you want to change about yourself and your life… maybe just not how. I see this almost every day with my clients. You’ve probably tried this and that, only to feel defeated, even hopeless about those trouble areas. That’s because you have subconscious beliefs that are such a part of how you think about every facet of your life, they’ve become undetectable to your conscious mind. They live in the details of your behaviors and mannerisms—that’s a good place to look so you can find them.
HERE’S AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT I MEAN...
Each afternoon, Liz and her husband sit together, pick something to watch and then snack away on junk food while they sit in silence. This is the time they get together at the end of the day and the time her husband gets to decompress and indulge.Sounds nice enough, right? Probably pretty common, maybe you do something very similar in your day. But let me show you what was happening with Liz.
DESIRE
Liz wants to lose weight. We talked through her lifestyle, habits, difficulties... pinpointing the behaviors that keep her weight on. She explained that she doesn’t really have a vice for junk food or eat emotionally... hmmm...
BEHAVIOR
As we talked through her habits, she pointed out that the only time she eats poorly is when she’s watching TV with her husband. Simply—he eats that way so she does it with him. Then, she admitted that more than half the time she doesn’t even really pay attention to what he’s watching since it’s not interesting to her. An hour or more of her day was going to an activity she had no personal enjoyment in... at least most of the time. Not only did she not enjoy it, but it was also working against a goal she had. So why was she doing it?
Conscious
I asked her why she kept doing it. “Ummm...” she couldn’t answer at first. So we explored. She wasn’t lonely, has lots of friends... She wasn’t bored, she has plenty to do to fill her time...
Subconscious
Then, as always, her subconscious had the answer. “I love my husband and he loves doing this, so I have to do it with him to be a good wife.” If I do this he’ll love me. That’s it! It was a paying of dues for love. A few hours of passive time was the cost for love... what she believed she had to do for approval. Liz learned this growing up, she did this with her mom and after that, it was a lifetime of deeds to earn love and approval any way she could. Even though true love is without expectations.
Intent
Great! So now we could talk about the solution. All she needed to do was purify her intent, release this belief with forgiveness and I say it all the time—forgiveness is freedom! It was important for her to only sit with her husband when she wanted to. There were times she liked the shows and she didn’t have to snack on what he was snacking on to share that time with him. This way she was freeing herself to enjoy this time with her husband without having to sacrifice her health goal and her joy.
Forgiveness
These are the forgiveness statements we used to set her free: I forgive myself for sitting with my husband to be a good wife.I forgive myself for believing I need to earn the love that I receive from others.
Affirmation
I choose to love and approve of myself.
How much time in your life is going to something or someone that goes against your goals and desires? What is your intent for investing that time? When you get your love from yourself and you do things with pure intent, you can love and accept love more freely—without sacrifice and expectation.
You can start right now.
